Puppy Rainbow Adventure
by Library.Diarrhea
Summary: a puppy gets super powers, goes back in times, and travels to a mysterious island


Hector was an ordinary puppy till one day he was hit by a radioactive rainbow; obviously the result of global warming. Not only had the rainbow granted the puppy super human intelligence (which actually made him dumber) but it had also ripped a fabric in the space time continuum. Before Hector could say kibbles n' bits he was sucked into the vortex and sent spiraling into another era.

"Yar! Who be ye?" came a slightly gruff voice. Hector shook his head as he came to. When his eyes opened he could see a grey cat with an eye patch and a scimitar.

"Where am I?" asked Hector. He was hungry, wanted to shit, and then take a nap.

The pirate cat eyed Hector with a mighty confusion. "Ye be on thee flyin catfish and I are captain A-ham! GAR!" The cat spit with unnecessary frustration. The spit moistened the face of a near by kitten buccaneer. The kitten buccaneer fuckin flipped out and exploded.

A-ham farted and then giggled and then coughed. The rest of his ill ridden crew joined him in his mockery of the soon forgotten cat which had exploded… wait a second what cat… hum…

Anyway for no reason what so ever Hector tried to explain to the dreaded captain A-ham that he was really an inter-dimensional time traveler. "You see I was hit by this radioactive rainbow…"

"-shut the fuck up ye scallywag or yee be betting yeee last shillings on yur life!" Captain A-ham touched Hector's nipple. Why?

Suddenly one of the lads from the crows nest yelled. Apparently they were entering the fogs around the apocalypse islands. Hector was fearful of such an ominously named place. When he questioned captain A-ham about the island's nature the cat replied by telling Hector he was an ignorant bitch. This of course was not true because even though Hector had a high pitch lady like voice he was a male.

The crew fell silent as the fog cleared and the flying catfish neared a mysterious dock. Captain A-ham politely asked four of his crew members to join him ashore. The crew members were confused as to their captain's kind actions. No sooner had their curiosities peeked did A-ham pull out a revolver and shoot one of the lads in the head.

"See lads! Ye must be on yer paws at all times! Espect dangar around every fuckin cornar!" Captain A-ham stopped for a moment. "You mister Hector will be fillin in for the recently departed Timmy Tom."

And so it was that Hector followed Captain A-ham and the three other kitten buccaneers into the deep foreboding sketchy scary not well lit dirty unhealthy random ass jungle island. There was fog and ominous music; a shit ton of it.

Many hours passed till Captain A-ham halted his group. There in front of them stood a ten feet tall magical golden kangaroo.

"Behold I am Bahamut god of shiny objects and really difficult riddles." The ground shook as Bahamut spoke. The very vibration was so intense that A-ham, Hector, and company took a few steps back and guarded their ears. "Also my voice is god like so it has to echo and make the ground shake…"

"Do you think you could whisper?" asked one of the kitten buccaneers.

"Silence foolish mortals!" commanded Bahamut. The golden kangaroo's eyes glowed red with anger. "You must now appease me for I am upset."

Everyone looked at each other. Not even the fearless captain A-ham knew what to do. So Hector in his infinite wisdom decided to explain to Bahamut that he was in fact an inter-dimensional time traveler. "You see I was hit by this radioactive rainbow…"

"Shut up bitch!"

"Hey I know my voice is high pitched, but I'll have you kn-" Before Hector could finish his sentence the golden kangeroo's eyes glowed red once more. This time however a sharp red beam of light was shot from them. The red beams met with Hector and instantly he was turned to ash.

"Friggin protagonist was pissing me off." Muttered Bahamut to himself.

Meanwhile A-ham and the others had used the opportunity to run away like little bitches… even though they were feline.


End file.
